Tent Sale

Tent for Sale-Cheap!

It's going to be another one of those hectic days, she thought, quickly finishing her morning devotions in the book of Numbers.

What could those Israelites possibly have had to complain about? They were always griping about "water" this or "manna" that. You'd have thought that they lived in a "whinery" instead of a desert. And the leeks and onions! What's the big excitement? I don't even like leeks and onions. Now, take the cukes and melons. That would be something to whine about not that I ever would. We haven't had a decent watermelon in years! We can't grow them in the garden, and you pay a fortune for even a tiny one in the store. But we were talking about the Israelites. How the Lord put up with all that bickering and complaining for forty years is beyond me! Going in circles out in some desert for forty years when they could have done it in three days! I mean, how dense can some people be? After all, it was your basic family-camping experience, right? What could be more unifying?

"The cloud is moving again! Didn't you hear the announcement? Joash, tell Elisabeth to round up the babies. Rachel, grab the clothes off the line. I can't believe I just got them all up, and they have to come down now! Buzz, help your father with the tent. And don't leave my best pot behind this time!"

"Mom, I've gotten the laundry for the last five moves. You said it was Sarah's turn next time."

"Mom, Japheth wants me to walk with his family. He has a new rock collection that he wants to show me. Dad said it's okay with him, if it's okay with you."

"Mommy-y-y-y-y! My legs are tired!"

"We haven't even started walking yet."

"But they're still tired."

"Go talk to your father."

Now I could tell them a few things about moving. Thirteen times in eighteen years of marriage - I might as well be living out of a moving van! Just keep everything in boxes. That way, you can't see what's broken. And I hate when the neighbors say, "I just love your decorating theme! What's it called?" Just once, I'd like to answer, "Early U-haul."

And the food. Manna every meal. I mean, how easy can one woman have it? No wondering what to make for dinner. No dishwasher breaking down. You wouldn't catch me complaining about that. And talk about fast food. Why, the only fast food we can afford are the chickens running through the backyard! No grocery lists. No clipping thousands of coupons. Can you imagine? A chance to miss the brain-frying experience of shopping with four kids twined around a cart, begging for everything in sight!

"What's for dinner, Mom? I could eat a camel!"

"Why didn't someone tell me we were all out of

Manna Helper. Our company's going to be here in ten minutes!"

"What! Boiled manna again? Yuck! That makes fifteen nights in a row now. Leah's mom barbecues hers in this awesome sauce - but, of course, she's a gourmet cook."

"Phew - that smell! Buzz didn't finish all his manna last night. It's by his mat where he fell asleep reading. I'm not touching that bowl!"

"No, there isn't any extra. I reminded you yesterday to gather twice as much, but no, you were too busy playing with your friends."

And what about their clothes? No ironing, bleaching or dry-cleaning. No overflowing washing machines. And a desert-fresh scent. With the machine I have, I'm better off buying a big rock and a piece of river. It was on its last legs when we got it, but do you think we can afford a new one?

"What's wrong with the sandals you have? They're in perfectly good shape."

"Well, yeah-but. . . all the other kids are wearing theirs with quail feathers stitched on them."

"You know what I've said about all the other kids. Are you 'all the other kids'? Your father works hard for the things you have. The least you can do is have a decent attitude and be grateful for them."

"I'm sick of these clothes. They're totally boring. They'll never wear out. I'll positively die if we don't get to a Robes-R-Us!"

And, when all the kids are matted down for the night, mom and dad can finally retreat to their tent swing, think back over the day, and count their blessings.

"Huz?"

"M-m-m-m? "

"Huz, we need a new tent. "

"And what's wrong with this one, Rebekah?"

"It's-well, it's... so... old. And, besides, Oasis green is the new color. Desert beige is definitely out. I was over at Esther's today - they just got a new one, you know - and it has one of those new skylights. Isn't that romantic? And I just thought, what with the money I could make from the sale of my new cookbook, Making It on Manna:1,001 Easy Recipes, we could probably swing it - if we sold a couple of animals - and I'd even be willing to give up going to the hairdressers for a year, and well... what do you think? Huz? Huz! How can you fall asleep when we're discussing something important like this?!"

It's almost embarrassing to read about those griping, complaining people, unwilling to acknowledge just how good and simple they had it. Imagine them trying to handle the intense stress of my life?

This article was first featured in FrontLine magazine

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